Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Speech Head Disconnect

I hope you understand what I mean. Ok, let me explain.

As an average office goer (which I beg to differ by the way.. I think I am exemplary!)..I am expected to dedicate a certain amount of my office time in engaging in extra-official activities, which consists of not only rolling back lengths of toilet paper that I pulled by mistake, but also other critical tasks such as reading my company moto on the opposite wall 57 times, sending personal couriers from office dispatch desk, healthy snacking (read chana), unhealthy snacking (read everything else) and most importantly collating & dispersing career-critical information on colleagues, often termed as water cooler gossip.

Now, on one such information exchange session (which ironically never happens at the water cooler since it is way too crowded), we were discussing our half yearly numbers.

Fellow gossiper: It seems they are intentionally pulling down the numbers to show bad results in this quarter.

Me gossiper: Or their tea is not happy…umm.. clients!.. I mean clients are not happy!

On another occasion, at my desk, after offering chana to the guy next to me.. “Hey.. I’ll keep it in the Dubai, you have it when you want .. Dubai??!.. haha… I mean the drawer.. so lost!.. haha.. im sorry.. here in the drawer!

Yet another occasion, while asking for directions from my husband (yes.. I havn't updated facebok yet!) on phone,.. I say – “ I am at four bungalows. I mean seven bungalows… and took a right from mad-o-wot and then the first left.. sorry, I meant I took the left from mad-over-donuts and then the right.. I know. Sorry.. I know you don’t know where I am!.. shit… ok.. I’ll ask someone on the road!”

And then the rickshaw driver stopped and left me at that spot on my mind where what I say is not what I am thinking.

PS: Do I need therapy?

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