Thursday, December 3, 2009

ML Chronicles #3

I swear this is the final one on ML... for now atleast!
The most interesting observation is that of wall advertisements on the locals. Although I dnt have such a good memory when it comes to remembering verbatim statements.. but 2 or 3 of them are quite prominent/common, and I will mention them here.

The most common one is this:
"Earn upto 20,000pm.. part time/full time job for girls/boys.. call 9867346790"
All of us have come across this while clinging onto our hancuffs and peeping through smelly shoulders. It always makes me imagine the kind of job that these places offer. Sometimes I have even considered calling them to find out what they have to offer.. afterall 20 grand in recession is not bad.. ;)
My wild imagination makes me think of crazy stuff like escort service, call girls, bar dancers at secret bars, surrogates (I remember this episodeof Lie to Me) etc etc.. imagination has no boundaries, only wings...

There are oher classic ones on growing tall, tiffin service, house on rent at Govandi etc etc.

Somehow, I distinctly remember these coming two classics:

An A4 size notice with big bold alphabets written all over. The heading read "MANCHAAHI SHAADI SPECIALIST".. :p... This was actually a tantrik or something who claimed to give you guarenteed benefit in matters of family fued, property dispute, troubles in your marriage, job search, or enabling your manchaahi shaadi.. i.e. obviating troubles in your wedding with your boyfriend/girlfriend... It was hilarious!!!! How on earth would this tantrik do all that? Will he have a team of gundas to give hul.. (hul as in dhamki.. not former HLL ;p).. or will he run away with the money after giving you some holy ash? Also, I had never before imagined that there could even be specialists in this field also... like oncologist, radiologist, gynocologist etc.. they have machaahi shaadi specialist!!

Another prize winner is this:
Picture a young beautiful lady lydonon her stomach n peeing out of this poster... she is looking at you - bit shy, but happy, but romantic... her hair falling on her shoulders.. she is wearing white coloured plain underpants and vest.. thats it. ANd the poster reads -
"The secret of my.....
What about you?"
A small logo of an undergarments compnay is displayed somewhere..hehe.. so cheesy!!
I am tempted to ask "The secret of my ..what??.. what could she be saying?
  • Beauty (because I look so pretty in them)
  • Happiness (bacause of 1 and 4)
  • shyness (because i am being clicked half naked)
  • Rocking xxx life (because my partner likes me for above 3) :P

Isnt this classic?

I find these very funny.. and interesting.. maybe I will specialise in local trains, or train posters.. what say?

ML Chronicles #2

My next observation in the local trains of Mumbai was that of names. Names of stations.

I would like to again mention that being from northern India, I am used to hearing areas with names that I can comprehend. For eg. In Delhi, we have different residential areas with the suffix "vihar".. such as Mayurvihar, Aanandvihar, Vasantvihar, Saritavihar etc or with "nagar" such as Sarojininagar, Motinagar, Malviyanagar, Lajpatnagar, Sundernagar etc. etc...
Similarly in Lucknow, there are names with "Ganj"...Saharaganj, Hazratganj, Ganeshganj etc..

All these names somehow make sense to me. At least I can infer the meanings of the names.. now if you notice the names of stations in Mumbai -
Chinchpokli
Wadala
Kurla
Mulund
Matunga
Bhayander
Dadar
Bandra
Or any other name.. Do you know what those mean??

I agree that I am an illiterate in Marathi.. but I swear, I have tried asking locals as well.. even they don't know.. Sometimes I wonder whether these names were given at a time when Mumbai was inhabited by non-marathi Manus.. some foreign colonies, or perhaps some aliens.

Logic prevails and I ask my dear erudite friend google for the answers... and interestingly there are answers:

  • Chinchpoklicha Chintamani, the oldest and most famous Ganapati idol, sits very near to the Chinchpokli station during Ganesh festival, hence the name Chinchpokli
  • The name of Kurla has originated from a name of a small fish "Kurli". This suburb is built on a seawater where earlier these small fishes were found
  • Bandra comes from the hindi word Bandar, meaning Port

There aren't any evidences about the history of the name Dadar.. but the above discoveries make me believe that there could be..I have set the ball rolling, now it upto you to dwell over this, find more meanings to names you know and post them here...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

ML Chronicles #1

No this is not Merrill Lynch.. nor/or Money Laundering.. this is our very own Mumbai locals that I am talking about.

Considering that I belong to Northern part of this country and have spent quite a long time in Saddi Dilli.. I have had my share of dreaded dreams of getting grinded between fat aunties while travelling between Bandra and Borivalli or falling in the gap between platform and train while trying to push myself inside a compartment at 3am in Dadar or reaching Thane while trying to unboard since Kurla. But somehow, since the summers of 2009, my abhorrence and reluctance to use the services of Mumbai's locals trains has diminished in certain ways as i have come to appreciate the efficiency of this unfailing machinery called Mumbai Local.

There are ofcourse other reasons as well.

I like to observe things, and the best part of Mumbai locals is that you get a lot to observe; specially when you have a full half hour kill, have a seat to fit your bill and the seat is not near a sill ;P. I noticed a lot of things during my two month daily summer sojourn and henceforth in every subsequent visit.

It started with purses. I used to travel in the ladies compartment of first class, which is basically 1/3 of a compartment with seating capacity of around 15 women, but carries around 50 during busy hours. I noticed that every woman carried a different kind of bag. In my whole observation period, I never even once came across two women carrying similar bags.

Whatever happened to mass production!

Their unique bags defined their unique selves. The classy fashion conscious ladies carried huge sack size bags with big buckles, and shiny finishes. The professional kinds always had shades of black and carried more stiff material bags, often huge enough to contain laptops. The married middle aged ladies always had two bags, one shoulder bag with normal stuff and another hand bag with eatables. Then there were the young ones who didn't earn enough to buy expensive branded bags but were fashion conscious and hence resorted to cheap copies from Linking road or Colaba. Not forgetting the college crowd, who always had these huge back packs (almost similar looking but never same) with 3-4 layers of chains and never wore them at the back, always in the front like kangaroos carrying their babies in their pockets.

Point is who makes them? And how come they never match for two people.. just like the DNA?

Monday, November 23, 2009

"Man, don't get mad"

This is the English translation of the German name of a game, every child in India knows about... ok.. maybe not now.. since they have Pokemons and PS3s now, but until when I was a child they knew about it.

It was the game everyone thought they were best at. According to Wikepedia, "cheating and catching others cheating is an integral part of the play. " And many of us would probably remember the game for that only. It was not a game, it used to be "Men at War". Hours and hours of continuous play between the four camps of red, green, blue and yellow. Choosing which colour counter you would play, was in itself was big debate. For me, mostly it was green, since I belonged to that house in school. Others also had similar crazy reasons for their favourite counters including superstitious beliefs about which colour wins for them.

Then there was this eternal shout of "Much"!! I still dont know what that meant, but it signified a pact to freeze the competitors move, so that he cannot retract or change moves. This happened when the other party perceived a positional advantage in the current move. I dont know whether they use this signalling technique in other parts of the country/World.

This is one game that has the status of a sport and very popular next only to cricket. This is one sport where age and size dont matter. I remember playing tournaments with my uncles and aunts.

I remember, many years ago, when our schools were closed down for months due to curfew, and they were demolishing the Masjid somewhere, I was busy killing non-green counters of my friends and foes at a game, we all love as LUDO.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

One Chetan Bhagat, Four books, and Few thoughts

It all started when I was a youth.

Not that I consider myself out of that bracket already.. but just that I am no longer at the perky end of it.. you know the teeny end.. where you think that you have begun to figure things out while you have only begun to get more confused...

So, I remember, this itch for reading contemporary authors, I had developed in college.. I read the likes of Amitava Ghosh, Hari Kunzru, Kushwant Singh, even tried Arundhati Roy and Sulman Rushdie (unsuccessful attempts though). Therefore, when chota Chetan (young writer.. or youth writer - as he calls himself) came by.. I was overwhelmed to read him.

I was also incidentally dreaming for an IIM degree at the time .. and hence the story tellers IIT-IIM pedigree attracted me to the book all the more. More so, the first book 5point someone..was a great entertainer from end to end.. although later on.. his books started turning into more of movies than stories..

Nonetheless, I most definately enjoy reading his books for the sheer "youth" value in them. Although I am less dreamy eyed than I was before, it feels good to read and remember, how I would have believed and empathised with the plot, had I been a little less hardened in my shell.

While he continuously keeps his promise to include lots of young people, one steamy love scene, cute looking girlfriends, happy endings across all his books, there is something more that is common between these books..

5point someone-1night at the call center-3mistakes of my life-2states ...

Do you notice the continuous use of numbers in titles? Is it because of his IIT connections? Or is it some kind of Ekta Kapoor superstition? Or is there some kind of pattern in those ....5-1-3-2??

I wonder what would his next book be? Will it have the number 4 in it?

ANyhow, all I can do is wonder... and, at best, wait for the next one to arrive.. afterall, I am no Dan Brown.. and I hope there is no secret society he is part of. ;)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Remembering the days that were..

I remember the days when
Summers meant pickles on the rooftops
Winters meant guvava jam bottles all across the floor
Spring meant papad and chips and lilies in my courtyard

I remember the days when
Kite was a sport
Pigeons were pets
Milk was bought from milkmen with cattle not with dairies..

I remember the days when
BlackboardMs were black..
Telephones were black too..
Bi-cycles were lady birds
Kachichi imli and churan were after-school delicacies

I remember the days when
Doordarshan was television
Sundays were Mahabharat and Chandrakanta
Summer vacation was “Chutti-chutti”
And “Mile sur mera tumhara” was a song everyone knew

I remember the days when
My father read out Snowwhite and the seven dwarfs to me at night
We sent paper greetings to everyone on new years
A three-fold Inland letters could carry months of communication between loved ones
2 rupee notes and 10paise and 20 paise coins were still money

I remember the days when
Candies were Poppins, Gems and Kismi toffee bar
Cold drinks were Gold spot, Thumbs –up and Limca
Radio was Aakashvani

I still remember the days when
Means were limited,
Dreams were big,
And change knocking at our doorstep.

I still remember the days when life was simple....

Sunday, September 20, 2009

"Cattle Class"... a class apart..

I just wanted to write something on this issue.. and so here is my two pints on the whole drama splashed across newspapers:

Well.. cattle class is a very innovative term and seems to be multivariate in nature i.e. it can have multiple meanings in different contexts. Like, it could refer to economy class of travel in some contexts or, in others, it could refer to inhumane, unhygienic travel conditions.. however, my creative brain takes me to another level while putting this versatile word in a new context - the context of my immediate external environment.


I would like to see cattle class as a class of people that act like a class of cattle! Now, you might wonder where that comes from.. well then what would you say to these:

1) In the middle of a class you would hear strange bird sounds , specially when a lecture is boring.. as if the cattle are revolting to the boredom being inflicted on them.

2) Certain bovine characters chew while they walk, talk, read, sleep, sit or even eat in class

3) We have nick named ourselves as cash cows, fat cows etc

4) We religiously follow "herd mentality" .. its a cult here

5) We collect money and run away with it (more like chara ghotala)

6) When a teacher raises a question to the class... we look at him all doe-eyed.. as if we only understand "moos" and "mews" and hve no clue whatsoever, of the subject of discussion

This is what you call a true "CATTLE CLASS" ... a class apart!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Going broke

If your are a student or have ever been one, you would know what that means.

For people like me, it doesnt matter whether Merill Lynch has gone down or not.. its recession anyway and inflation perpetually lingers beyond the levels of any country with Z names.

So, for the regulars, they would know that there are two types of broke statuses:

1) Cash broke: This is the first stage of being broke when you dont have any currency on you. Nothing in the name of paper notes or coins.. (sometimes coins can be lot of money!).

This is a funny state of brokery. When you arent exactly broke, but technically you are, because you cant spend. This happens when you either want to willingly cut down your expenses by believing that you are broke or your dad has just given you a nice long chat after looking at your bank account statement.

It also happens when you are a lazy bum and cant move your ass to the ATM. And the worst is when you are a miser and want to feign brokery and hence dont use your loaded card! Such individuals dont deserve to taint the spirit of a true broke.. they should be excluded from this conversation.

2) ATM broke: This is the second and more grave stage of brokery - when you neither have money on your wallet nor on your ATM card.

This situation demands that you keep some good friends handy, who can lend you in times of need, buy you dinner or invite you to their home for meals, with free TV. I often go into this type of brokery and manage to get by pretty decently.

Infact this morning when I inspected all my 5 bags, one wallet and all pajamas, jeans pockets, and realized that I am in possession of 1 five rupee coin, 4 one rupees coins, 1 two rupee coin and 2 fifty paisa coins aggregate - which accidentally is not enough to buy me breakfast, I declared myself in the state of brokery.

Reasons for running into brokery are simple - You are reckless and you cant manage your expenses and savings. You dont plan. And more importantly you are poor!! And I am all of these.

Brokery makes me realize that life so beautiful when your are a student and staying at a place like a hostel is a blessing. I remember days when I was working and used to go broke (yes even then!). though it was mostly cash brokery coz ATMs in gurgaon are in another city, I used to have a real hard time managing things - but here I can just walk into the rooms of any of the hundreds of angels staying in rooms across and get fast cash!

Brokery is also good in certain ways - Its like a safety valve on your expenses. Goes of when the pressure crosses the limits.

So next time you go broke - respect it !

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Wrap-up Note

No.. I'm not wrapping up this blog.. but my thoughts on the two day event that brought together too many things to dwell upon..

Thought #1

Firstly, I must confess that im very thrilled with my newly discovered talent of photography. The photography event at Melange helped me discover it. This picture is based on the theme "illusion" and Im totally in love with it. Im so proud of my first professional attempt at photography. I might not win, but I feel like one :).. (u can see a watered down version of my master piece here)

Thought #2

Btw, I also participated in this Junkyard wars type of event yesterday called "Glitter the Litter", Again, I was utterly proud of my engineering skills. I made this ultimate bullock cart from hard-board, empty bottle, straws, matchsticks, some glue and icecream sticks. The main challenge was to get the base structure functional and sturdy.

Tarang and I at the JYW - trying to but not succeeding in looking good :P

By Jove - it was no easy task .... I mean piercing holes through the plastic bottle, cutting out perfect circles for wheels (hand drawn), making the straws sturdy by filling matcksticks in them, and finally passing strings across the holes to make the structure sturdy. I wish I had clicked pictures.. It wasnt an easy task etall... but in the end it came out well.. to the extent that we could impress the judges.
Junkyard wars used to be one of my favourite shows on TV and it truly an experience to get my hands dirty with it. Again a first time.

Thought #3

Next, I organized an event called "Bol Bachan" based on Hindi JAM (Just a minute). We expected a turnout of around 10.. but surprisingly there were nearly 40 registrations - highest number for any event on day 1. And whatta ruckuss we created there.. I mean there were groups of 8 participants speaking at a time and everytime one member commits one of the 7 sins.. the others shouted "Aapatti"!!.. ANd believe me.. there were more aapattis than words in the room in those two hours.. I was a time keeper.. My job was to note down the number of seconds each member speaks and number of times he raises aapatti.. u can imagine - i was on a rapid-fire! .. and honestly I never thought JAMS could be so much fun.. I had always seen the serious type of JAMs .. not the multiple meaning, witty and utterly humourous types as this one :).. and to add spice to it.. no english was allowed in the room .. kripya do kshan bhar hindi bhaasha ka sampurn prayog kar ke dekhiye yeh kitna kathin karya hai.. maine yeh karya do ghanton tak nibhaya..ha ha

Thought #4

A little thought to things I wanted to do but could not do..
1) Movie making - coz I ran out of time with my Hindi JAM clashing with this event
2) Board Game making - I had thought of a winning idea for this.. I was sure to win.. but sadly the event was scrapped due to low registrations..
3) Last Man Standing - This is something I really was keen upon.. but missed the registration deadline..
Never mind.. I have another time to cover these up.. Melange 2010.. here I come!

Thought #5

Well.. things I did without wanting to do them..
Sell - Hell , dunno why i participated.. and got eliminated in the first round itself. I have no interest nor inclination to sell stuff..It was funny how someone like me landed up in the event.. anything for friends i guess..
Sudoku - clashed with Junkyard wars.. sowent into the event took the problem .. then backed out.. coz my heart was stuck back in my junkyard..

Thought #6

It was disappointing to see such a low turnout of my classmates. They have once again proved that they are boring people. I know Im being harsh - maybe they had commitments - but Im sorry, I am disappointed!

Thought #7

I have a BR viva tomorrow and Im in no mood to study. I have just spent 1.5 hours writing this blog and now Im going off to sleep.
Today and yesterday completely dedicated to the spirit of Melange (which btw.. I kinda enjoyed.. except for a few dampners..but that is probably because I always over expect)..

Cheers to SIMSR Melange En Vogue 2009!!

Rest all (including thoughts about them) .. come another day ..

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How do Colours fly?

Ever wondered how they could fly?

They are colours Oh.. my.. my!!

One just flew off my dress..

Where does it go next?

It goes n nests in the flower

Just a second before another color from my dress rushes towards the star!

But the colour that flew next was slow

So I’m worried how far does it go?

A butterfly futters by,

And winks at my colour heading to the sky..

The one on my ribbon just flew to the lakes

And one sprinkled itself on strawberry shakes!

Few colours flew from my pillow

And coloured the birdie singing on the willow

I look up and see,

A thousand colours flying at me!!

They are lovely, wild and free..

And I am flying with them.. Can’t you see?


(Inspired by my recent trim results and inputs from Kshama Singhania)

What’s in a Name?

As I sit and stare at my name on that email…

“Sana”

Or rather whenever I have seen it scribbled across any piece of paper or popping out of a chat window.. I get a weird feeling.. like Im looking at myself from a third persons perspective… like I’m being read by myself. Its strange how I look at that name as if it belonged to someone else.. that is the only time when I look as myself from the eyes of the World and somewhere I get this feeling that how I see myself is very different from how the others see me.. a vast dichotomy.

It’s a random thought, may not be true… but as a friend once said:

“Real though.. Surreal maybe”

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Nomadic Verses

I think this is not the mood to be..
But nomads have neither moods nor place.
Living every single day
In its single - limitless way

A life where one day melts into the other
But forms a mosaic on the sands of time
Were he to barter even a day in this time
He wouldn’t give one for a million or a dime!

His wings might be clipped for flight
But sky is not the limit for him
Rising falling in his own emotions,
A nomad goes a thousand excursions..

Happy with the freedom of one
Bound with chains of none
He feels it flowing under his veins
Nomadic tunes of dunes and rains.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Tea cocktail

I just went down for tea at the “Mess”.. yeah mess I mean… ok.. so i had the option of choosing between

  • Panjabi samosa ..don’t get worried whether the “Punjabi” samosa looks any different from the samosa next door… n for heaven’s sake don’t imagine it with a turban!!
  • A confetti of biscuits… with about 6-7 assorted biscuits in a pack.. some salty ones, creamy ones, glucose ones and other ones whose contents I don’t know..

And then offcourse I can choose between tea and milk-water..

If you are interested in Operations research, take a look at my decision tree in the inset.

Ok so trying to minimize costs in terms of kilocals gained, I chose the option of biscuits and tea.

Further, when I opened the packet, I found certain creamy biscuits against my taste bud preferences.. and also possessing high contents of calorie.. then the concept of outsourcing struck me…

I decided to trade my creamy biscuits for lower cost (read calorie) salt biscuits with another friend..

He willingly agreed as the offered resource (read additional calories) was scarce in his territory… this going by the theory of comparative advantage..

I traded two for two.. then when my friend tried to push few more salty ones down me.. I declined.. you might ask why… and so did he..

My answer took us back to the early theories of trade wherein I was (imagine I am a country ) trying to run a positive balance of trade… if I took more biscuits than those I gave.. I would run a deficit. The theory that I am referring to, is called theory of Neo-merchantilism. Note that its not merchantilism as my motive for running the surplus is political.. i.e. to increase my “Sphere of influence”.. (CPJ will love this ;)..) and not economic benefits.

That’s International business for you.

I could have made it a more interesting conversation.. had I read more subjects..

Will try to come up with sequel to this once I do HR (then I can include appraisal and compensation aspects) and SCM.. (logistics.. its everywhere!)..

Please don’t expect Marketing until exam end.. as I will only do it when the exam is.

Cheers.