Getting Back At It!

Sorry, I have been away for a while.. was busy with finishing my book. Check out your nearest bookstore for any leftover copies..

The book is called "Who moved my cheese".. yeah.. thats an old one.. I am a slow reader ;).

Anyway.. just posted something. And hopefully will be regular since I spend a lot of time thinking these days.. in the auto-rickshaw.. benefits of staying away from work. Yeah.. we all know how much fun that is.  

Speech Head Disconnect

I hope you understand what I mean. Ok, let me explain.

As an average office goer (which I beg to differ by the way.. I think I am exemplary!)..I am expected to dedicate a certain amount of my office time in engaging in extra-official activities, which consists of not only rolling back lengths of toilet paper that I pulled by mistake, but also other critical tasks such as reading my company moto on the opposite wall 57 times, sending personal couriers from office dispatch desk, healthy snacking (read chana), unhealthy snacking (read everything else) and most importantly collating & dispersing career-critical information on colleagues, often termed as water cooler gossip.

Now, on one such information exchange session (which ironically never happens at the water cooler since it is way too crowded), we were discussing our half yearly numbers.

Fellow gossiper: It seems they are intentionally pulling down the numbers to show bad results in this quarter.

Me gossiper: Or their tea is not happy…umm.. clients!.. I mean clients are not happy!

On another occasion, at my desk, after offering chana to the guy next to me.. “Hey.. I’ll keep it in the Dubai, you have it when you want .. Dubai??!.. haha… I mean drawer..in the drawer.. haha..im so lost!.. haha.. im sorry.. here in the drawer!

Yet another occasion, while asking for directions from my husband (yes.. I havn't updated facebok yet!) on phone,.. I say – “ I am at four bungalows. I mean seven bungalows… and took a right from mad-o-wot and then the first left.. sorry, I meant I took the left from mad-over-donuts and then the right.. I know. Sorry.. I know you don’t know where I am!.. shit… ok.. I’ll ask someone on the road!”

And then the rickshaw driver stopped and left me at that spot on my mind where what I say is not what I am thinking.

PS: Do I need therapy?

Bean There.. Done that.

Being 27 means: Hiding ur DOB on fb, not telling people at work, insisting on lighting a single candle to save the ozone layer, avoiding birthday bumps on ur broken back, gulping down 5 cups of coffee to keep urself awake, snuggling in ur bed after work and thinking.. gosh.. am I the oldest living single female?!

Looking at yourself in the mirror and trying hard to count all the fine lines, realizing that after orkut.com, facebok.com, twitter.com.. its time for shaadi.com.

Watching Turning 30 and feeling young again. Feeling tingly that now you can date the George Clooney's of the World.

Turning back at all those years, and somewhere feeling like an adult. Knowing that no one really knows where they are headed. And its ok to be that way. Not running after answers, not trying to fit in, not even into ur old jeans.

27 is about being a woman. Yes, your very own Aunty. And thats Cool :)

Confessions

Furtive glances at you
From the mirror in front of me
You look delicious
You is all I can see
I can be a good girl another day
Just for this moment, let me have my way.

{{Dedicated to pastries, chocolates, and men}}

Working Hard-LEE !!

We once played this game.. each sentence ending with LEE.. Bruce Lee, Sara Lee, Onlee, Junglee, hardlee.. and on and on. however, as usal.. that is not the subject of this post. . just a teaser (remember "the erection"?)..

Interestingly, the main subject is even more interesting. Its about how hard we work at work. So my question to you.. how many of you think that you are working too hard or your company is taking too much off you??

I see many hands.. and the truth remains .. that yes they are the blood suckers who want to take away the last drop of life we have at our disposal. All companies should make 5 days off and two days working... (from home).

I just did some basic calculation to see exactly how hard we work. And I am sharing the results with you. The calculations are based on the Hard-Lee Working Calculation Model (with due respect and credits to the founder.. which is me ;P)



Interestingly, even if you dont consider the efficiency losses, we only work for 61% (or 75% for the unfortunate souls) of the days we are actually paid for. And if you legitimately adjust for the efficiency losses.. {which i have assumed a very honest figure of approx 1.5 hours per day for people not working on saturdays (that makes approx 1 day loss per week).. and since I am well aware how much peopple work on sacond half of saturday.. I have plus 0.5 loss for them)...we are working for only 46% of the days we are actually paid for!!!

Those that work in PSUs would be happier... since they have a much larger pool of PLs..

Hence my hard working friends, no matter how hard they try to demotivate us... we will still be working hard-Lee!! ;P !

Three questions on three things

Chats
Do three question marks together make it a bigger question?
Is hmm different from hmmm?
Don’t three dots suffice... ?

Chicks
Is hot always dumb?
What is the opposite of hot?
Is sexy always good at sex?


Chutkulas
Why are all jokes poor jokes?
Can there be a good poor joke?
Would good jokes be funny?

Zuk Goes to Work

#1
Boss: Is it done?
Zuk: It not Done.. its Dun-can..Ducan James. He is a boyband Blue’s member and recently admitted being bisexual. But why are you asking about him in the middle of work?

#2
Boss: I don’t remember my desk number... I have weak memory {winks}
Zuk: That’s fine sir... Even I don’t remember mine... coz I don’t have one!! {rolls}

(The fact that Zuk finds it funny while his boss doesn’t makes it all the more funny)

#3
Boss: You have been working on this for a while... what is your deadline?
Zuk: This. {Makes a horizontal line in air with his thumb, right below his chin}

#4
Boss: We have been looking at sources of interest free credit.
Zuk: Ah... once upon a time... free press used to give credit for your good actions without any material interest. Now even they are interested in TRPs!!

#5
Client on phone: I am visiting from Delhi. Can you give me directions to reach your office?
Zuk on phone: Sure. First of all… take a taxi and go to the Delhi domestic airport {silent giggle}