Confessions

Furtive glances at you
From the mirror in front of me
You look delicious
You is all I can see
I can be a good girl another day
Just for this moment, let me have my way.

{{Dedicated to pastries, chocolates, and men}}

Working Hard-LEE !!

We once played this game.. each sentence ending with LEE.. Bruce Lee, Sara Lee, Onlee, Junglee, hardlee.. and on and on. however, as usal.. that is not the subject of this post. . just a teaser (remember "the erection"?)..

Interestingly, the main subject is even more interesting. Its about how hard we work at work. So my question to you.. how many of you think that you are working too hard or your company is taking too much off you??

I see many hands.. and the truth remains .. that yes they are the blood suckers who want to take away the last drop of life we have at our disposal. All companies should make 5 days off and two days working... (from home).

I just did some basic calculation to see exactly how hard we work. And I am sharing the results with you. The calculations are based on the Hard-Lee Working Calculation Model (with due respect and credits to the founder.. which is me ;P)



Interestingly, even if you dont consider the efficiency losses, we only work for 61% (or 75% for the unfortunate souls) of the days we are actually paid for. And if you legitimately adjust for the efficiency losses.. {which i have assumed a very honest figure of approx 1.5 hours per day for people not working on saturdays (that makes approx 1 day loss per week).. and since I am well aware how much peopple work on sacond half of saturday.. I have plus 0.5 loss for them)...we are working for only 46% of the days we are actually paid for!!!

Those that work in PSUs would be happier... since they have a much larger pool of PLs..

Hence my hard working friends, no matter how hard they try to demotivate us... we will still be working hard-Lee!! ;P !

Three questions on three things

Chats
Do three question marks together make it a bigger question?
Is hmm different from hmmm?
Don’t three dots suffice... ?

Chicks
Is hot always dumb?
What is the opposite of hot?
Is sexy always good at sex?


Chutkulas
Why are all jokes poor jokes?
Can there be a good poor joke?
Would good jokes be funny?

Zuk Goes to Work

#1
Boss: Is it done?
Zuk: It not Done.. its Dun-can..Ducan James. He is a boyband Blue’s member and recently admitted being bisexual. But why are you asking about him in the middle of work?

#2
Boss: I don’t remember my desk number... I have weak memory {winks}
Zuk: That’s fine sir... Even I don’t remember mine... coz I don’t have one!! {rolls}

(The fact that Zuk finds it funny while his boss doesn’t makes it all the more funny)

#3
Boss: You have been working on this for a while... what is your deadline?
Zuk: This. {Makes a horizontal line in air with his thumb, right below his chin}

#4
Boss: We have been looking at sources of interest free credit.
Zuk: Ah... once upon a time... free press used to give credit for your good actions without any material interest. Now even they are interested in TRPs!!

#5
Client on phone: I am visiting from Delhi. Can you give me directions to reach your office?
Zuk on phone: Sure. First of all… take a taxi and go to the Delhi domestic airport {silent giggle}

Dimension Z

Abstract, absent yet absolute..

Defined limitless boundaries

A point in time beyond eternity

Reaching out

Folding in.. contained within

In my head

Dimension Z.

I.m.a.g.i.n.a.t.i.o.n.

This one is on fantasizing.

Stop imagining right there.

I know I am choosing a very boundless topic and by virtue of which I might have already invoked certain naughty expectations in my readers. And going by the trend these days, the creative ones would have already imagined the details I could go into - that much for the pleasure of imagining.

However, I am going to be very seedha and shareef and only talk about stuff you don’t need to censor by Bollywood standards (well.. that too before the times of Imraan Hashmi), where the limit is two chrysanthemums locking heads!

So anyway.. i’ll first bore you with the story of how I thought of this topic. I’ll be brief. See this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV39ozcAUzM

Ok you are in love. Ok you can’t get him/her. But beyond that?

I wonder if anyone actually imagines stuff like that. Or maybe, we do (and don’t tell). Afterall, the beauty of fantasy is in the freedom to fanaticize...

So go ahead.. take a moment off and smile at that thought that once crossed your mind and you never shared it with anyone :).

Naughty!!

Women are watching you!

Irrespective of what gender you are, most of you must have heard/seen guys checking out and discussing girls. My female readers would have even participated in these “male” conversations, putting forward their own expert views on the dressing, hair, attitude etc of the subject.

Guys have an “eye for detail” when it comes to checking out girls. They would notice things as little as the flower prints on a girls’ socks or how her lips look pink when she is nervous, because she has been biting them. But all that is normal. Guys are like that.

Now here is a revelation.. even girls are very very detailed when it comes to checking out guys. Yes. Every girl, no matter how sweet, simple, innocent.. takes time of her goodness and casts her not-so-goody-two-shoes intentions on the men that unknowingly tread into her radar.

If I were to explain what things guys notice in girls, it wouldn’t be news. So I’ll introduce you to the World of “woman bird-watching” or rather women b’ea’rd watching!

She walks into his office. He is a young, dynamic 30 something, running his own small proprietary firm. He leans over to shake hands with her and she notices him. Beep beep. Catch in the radar.

She takes 20 seconds to check him out from top to desk (remaining of him was hidden behind the big ugly desk..urghhh!!). White shirt, wet hair, starry eyed, polite, wide shoulders, nice hairy strong arms, pink lips!! (and a bonus.. pretty mole just a centimetre above it!). Ofcourse she was smiling.

He reciprocated with a smile. OMG! Kaatil smile. The rest was music.

And by the way. They even nickname their targets – Dimpu (the dimpled sweetheart), PL (Mr pink lips), MG (Maha Gunda – The guy who intimidates), Pinky (The guy who looked like the cartoon character in “Pinky and the Brain” on cartoon network) and many more.

Men don’t get insecure. Just groom well. Your admirers are watching you. :)